What stories are you telling yourself?

By Hanne

Recently, a young woman came to my yoga class and told me it was her first time practicing yoga. At the end of the class, I talked to her, and she fretted for being so inflexible. She even said that she was a little ashamed of her mobility or lack thereof. This conversation got me thinking about the stories we tell ourselves. What stories are you telling yourself? The kind of story you tell yourself shapes your identity. Is it a good or bad thing, and what should be done about it?

What stories are you telling yourself?

We tell ourselves stories about ourselves. A story about what we are and what we are not. A story about what we think we should be and compare ourselves to others and value ourselves and our lives according to those stories. The stories we tell are often negative and shape our identity in a certain way. It’s as if we swallow the characteristics into a part of ourselves based on how we experience or have experienced something. And these experiences we could have experienced years or even decades ago. However, we build our self-image based on these beliefs.

We create such a false identity for ourselves, guided by our ego. Our ego hides behind the self, forming our identity in a certain way. We define ourselves through thoughts and then build or strengthen our ego.

These beliefs that we have about ourselves can, at worst, limit our lives. We believe that we are not flexible or that our mobility is poor. We think: I’ve always been stiff. I don’t bend at all. And as we swallow this belief, we may assume we can’t do anything about it. It may limit us so that we may leave things undone because we believe our ego is telling us about our identity.

Forget the stories you are telling yourself

That young woman who came to my yoga class was a little nervous (of course). And that’s why I encouraged everyone to throw away their past. To forget how far one has bent in the past and to be present in this particular exercise and one’s body that very day. To ignore the stories, they tell themselves. To forget how stiff or flexible they were. To close one’s eyes to what is happening on the neighbor’s mat and to be present on one’s mat, in one’s own body, and respect its sensations that day. And to do the practice from their starting points.

After the class, when I talked with that young lady, one of her overriding emotions was shame; shame for being so stiff, stiffer than others. “This was your first class. Just think, if the person next to you has been practicing yoga for 20 years, can you compare yourself to that person?” The woman nodded and admitted that she hadn’t even thought of this. Overall, the experience was positive for her, and she also returned to my class the following week.

You might also like this: Know yourself – Learn to listen to your body

Letting go of Ego

How can we let go of the stories and beliefs we tell ourselves based on which we have created our identity? How can we let go of our ego?

We can do it gradually, layer by layer. We treat our ego like a big bush, from which we first cut off certain parts, the uppermost, most easily accessible ones.

In the same way, we can let go of false beliefs formed by the ego. We detach from single thoughts that strengthen our ego. We separate ourselves from the false identity created by our ego.

Breaking away from a habit or something we’ve held onto as our identity for years takes time. After all, it is about detaching the authentic self from our false beliefs. But that’s how it goes. Things worth doing take time and require practice. But what could be better than letting go of something that basically causes you negative feelings and unhappiness?

Have you ever thought about what kind of story you tell yourself and how it has shaped your identity?

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Hi, I'm Hanne

I am a yoga instructor and personal trainer dedicated to holistic wellbeing and natural living. On my blog, I share insights and practical tips to help you find balance and harmony in your life.