What hides behind a smile?

What Hides behind a smile?

By Hanne

The eyes are the mirror of the soul, they say, and eyes tell the story of each of us. You can see a lot of things through our eyes and gaze, both yourself and someone else. I had hardly thought about this thing until browsing the pictures on the phone and saw a selfie I had taken in late 2018. I stared at my picture in mild shock. My gaze was stagnant, and it was full of sadness and despair. It was evident that the person in the picture despite the big smile on the face wasn’t happy. But, what hides behind a smile?

WHAT HIDES BEHIND a SMILE?

The definition of a smile is:
“A facial expression comprised by flexing the muscles of both ends of one’s mouth, often showing the front teeth, without vocalization, and in humans is a common involuntary or voluntary expression of happiness, pleasure, amusement, or anxiety.”

I’d say it is easy to hide behind a smile. And if you don’t truly see the person in front of you, you can easily be fooled with a smile. It is even easy to fool yourself with a smile.

The picture I was referring to was taken after I had lived in India for a few months. And even though living there was in many ways a dream come true, it wasn’t perfect. I also had a tough year behind me, which was very obviously conveyed from that picture.

I remember at the time wondering how every Indian can be so observant. Almost everyone I ended up talking to asked me the first if I was all right. One of my acquaintances said even said that I always look like I may burst into tears at any moment.

Several people, I met even told me directly that I didn’t look happy (Indians are always so outspoken that sometimes it really makes me furious). I was always just as confused by these questions. I flashed every questioner the best smile and assured me that everything is fine. Now that I think about it more closely, I was probably only fooling myself with this.

How to find happiness?

But, what is happiness then, and how to find it? How to find the way to happiness? The truth is that in the end, happiness is found in our own innermost being; the question is how to attract it. The very first step on the path to happiness lies in loving and accepting oneself. Acceptance, in general, is vital so we can move towards happiness. On that path, the path toward happiness, behind us, is the past and its burden. And it is often more significant than our faith or consciousness.

The burden we carry lightens as we face the past, accept and forgive.
It is often easy to forgive another person, but what about you? Remember to forgive yourself too? Forgiveness is something that makes you feel better and lighter immediately.

Encountering oneself, encountering all the past pains, is consuming and even sad. It can be a wide variety of things, and facing those things will help you move forward, not only towards your inner self but also towards a happier life.

Let the smile lit up the life all the way into your eyes

Self-acceptance is present in our daily lives. And at least for most of us every day. What is self-acceptance about? At this point, it is good to stop and think about the ways and number of times you have criticized yourself today. We all do it; it is our nature. But, if you are constantly criticizing yourself, how could it be possible to accept yourself and be happy at the same time? What if next time, instead of criticizing, you’d think of something positive about yourself, or what if you think of two? These are simple little steps in finding happiness within yourself.

And once we take time and work through these steps, eventually within the time the smile on our faces also lit up the life all the way into our eyes. Smile is not an empty expression anymore.

Everyone has a story

Often we seek happiness from outside ourselves, from other people, or material things. The truth, however, is that if we do not find happiness and pure joy in life within ourselves, it can’t be found from outside of ourselves either. External things can provide momentary and seeming happiness, but unfortunately, it is not permanent. It’s just an escape from the current, not necessarily always so comfortable living situation, and therefore, it’s only temporary.

There can be small or sometimes more significant stories hiding behind a smile. Whole life can hide behind a smile. A smile can be “a mask” we wear to hide our true selves from ourselves and especially when hiding from other people. It can be our way to keep our distance until we have the resources and the courage to face ourselves and our story.

We each have our story. Only you know what hides behind your smile. Only you can truly face yourself, accept yourself, and most of all, only you can find your happiness, happiness that lies within you.